21st
The Secret of Jewish Boys
In Honor of Lynn Hatcher McGary - Master Teacher
September 1949 to January 2009.
Mother of five children who are faithful in service to Christ.
#3 The Secret of Jewish Boys is taken from a parenting seminar conducted by Lynn in 2004 and the general approach used in our family.
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A secret is generally a fact that is purposefully hidden from general knowledge. It can also mean information that is largely lost, therefore “hidden” in a culture, though not by intention.
This story about the secret of Jewish boys is like the latter perspective – an understanding that has been lost in many ways.
In the Hebrew Bible, young males were considered of majority age by their 13th year and were considered adults responsible for the law of God. That tradition holds true in most Jewish denominations today. Bar Mitzvah (and Bat Mitzvah for females in certain Jewish groups) is recognized with a variety of practices to indicate the reaching of full membership as an adult in the Jewish community.
It is our practice to rear our children with this concept in mind. We do not recommend a ritual, but we do recommend relating the truth in depth to children as they approach this age. Certainly a child is able to grasp the significance of the essentials of the Christian faith at this early age. By essentials we mean more than a rote memorization of a catechism – but the essentials as they are lived and as a guide to our thinking about everything in life.
Starting at an early age, we introduce our children to the biblical flow of history, the key ideas of theology and philosophy, and the biblical view of the many facets that make up life. Consider that you will cover these well by the time your child is a teenager. Treat them as adults to be respected, but also realize that they have changes of physical and emotional maturity that will require patience on your part as a parent.
Fathers are specifically instructed to not frustrate their children. This is the age where that seems to become more significant, as we start encouraging our children to independence of thought and action.
Be careful to not train them in “character” development but rather to love and follow Jesus and His Word, in the fullness of what that means. We are not training our children to be moralists but rather followers of Christ. The stories of the Two Sons and the Rich Young Ruler in the New Testament make it clear that morality is not to be the focus of Christian parenting.
We do not recommend getting children absorbed in Latin or other so-called “classic” forms of education before you absorb them in the scriptures and the Hebraic way of seeing reality, as the better “classical” education.
It is largely our responsibility as parents to make learning a joy so that our children are self-motivated to learn. A couple of practical suggestions: Teach reading early and expose them to reading across a wide spectrum of materials, making sure they understand the foundation of knowledge as given in scripture.
Then enjoy their growth in wisdom from about 12 or 13 to about 18 years of age as your child starts to find their calling in life. They will not be perfect, as you are not perfect. So remember that they have the Holy Spirit as their best teacher and be careful not to influence them by law but by grace and truth.
If done well, they will have a joy of learning and discovery because they truly know the foundations of knowledge (not just a lot of correct data) - foundations they will not get in any school setting – certainly not in a government school, nor in many private, Christian, or home-schools.
Anticipate preparing your child to become a godly young man or woman. Keep it lighthearted and joyful but also focused and intentional. Relearn the secrets of Jewish boys (and girls) in growing to maturity and apply them to your children.
